Kaloupek v. Burfening

• Decision Date: 17 May 1989
• Docket Number: Nos. 880191,880192,s. 880191
• Citation: 440 N.W.2d 496
• Parties: Chris KALOUPEK, Plaintiff and Appellant, v. Michael BURFENING, Defendant and Appellee. Michael BURFENING, Plaintiff and Appellee, v. Christine L. KALOUPEK, Defendant and Appellant, and Bank of North Dakota, Defendant. Civ.
• Court: North Dakota Supreme Court

Page 496

440 N.W.2d 496

Chris KALOUPEK, Plaintiff and Appellant, v. Michael BURFENING, Defendant and Appellee.

Michael BURFENING, Plaintiff and Appellee, v. Christine L. KALOUPEK, Defendant and Appellant, and Bank of North Dakota, Defendant.

Civ. Nos. 880191, 880192.

Supreme Court of North Dakota.

May 17, 1989.

Arline F. Schubert (argued), Grand Forks, for defendant and appellant.

Caldis, Arneson & Tingum, Ltd., Gordon Caldis, argued, Grand Forks, for plaintiff and appellee.

GIERKE, Justice.

Chris Kaloupek appeals from a district court judgment awarding to Chris and the defendant, Michael Burfening, joint physical custody of their son, Robert, on a six month alternating basis. We affirm.

Chris and Michael began a relationship in 1981, but they were never married. Chris is a widow who has two daughters born of her marriage in 1972 and 1975. Michael was previously married and divorced but has no children from his marriage. Chris and Michael purchased a home in Grand Forks in 1983 and lived there with Chris' daughters until Michael moved out in June 1987.

Robert was born on March 24, 1986, and was two years old at the time of the custody proceedings in the trial court. Both Chris and Michael sought physical custody of Robert. The trial court concluded that it would be in Robert's best interests for Chris and Michael to share his legal and physical custody. The court awarded joint physical custody to Chris and Michael, alternating every six months until Robert starts school, at which time, the court declared, it would redetermine custodial arrangements upon motion of the parties.

On appeal Chris asserts that the trial court's custody determination is clearly erroneous. Chris argues that the trial court should have awarded physical custody of Robert to her, because she has been Robert's primary caretaker and because a six month separation from his mother and stepsisters would not be in Robert's best interests.

A trial court's determinations on matters of child custody are treated as findings of fact which will not be set aside on appeal unless they are clearly erroneous. Lapp v. Lapp, 293 N.W.2d 121 (N.D.1980). A finding of fact is clearly erroneous if the reviewing court is left with a definite and firm conviction that a mistake has been made. Bender v. Bender, 276 N.W.2d 695 (N.D.1979).

Although we have recognized that it is not in the best interests of a child to unnecessarily change custody or to bandy the child back and forth between parents, [Silseth v. Levang, 214 N.W.2d 361 (N.D.1974) ], we have also concluded that split or alternating custody is not per se erroneous. DeForest v. DeForest, 228 N.W.2d 919 (N.D.1975). In North Dakota parents have equal rights to the custody and control of their minor children, and as between a mother and father there is no presumption as to who will better promote the best interests and welfare of the child. Gravning v. Gravning, 389 N.W.2d 621 (N.D.1986). When the evidence supports a trial court's finding that a split or alternating custody award is in the best interests of the child, that finding will not be found clearly erroneous on appeal. Lapp, supra.

The trial court has provided us with a well written memorandum decision, including the following analysis and findings of fact pertinent to its alternating joint custody award:

"Both Chris and Mike are loving parents to Robert and both wish to have custody of him. Both play an important role in his life. Robert also has a close relationship with grandparents and other extended family in the Grand Forks area.

* * * * * *

"Chris feels that Grand Forks is not 'big enough' for both she and Mike. She wants to go back to the Boston area, but has no employment there and she has lived in North Dakota all of her adult life. Her Social Security income is sufficient to provide her with most of her needs. She feels that there should be no overnight visitation between Mike and Robert. In effect, Chris does not seek to truly maintain and foster the parent-child relationship between Mike and Robert. This is contrary to the best interests of Robert and the Court finds that it is necessary to assure an adequate opportunity for the parent-child relationship between Mike and Robert to survive and grow.

"So far as the factors contained in Section 14-09-06.2 of the North Dakota Century Code are concerned, it would appear that both parties love Robert and Robert loves both of his parents.

"Both Chris and Mike have the capacity and disposition to give Robert the necessary love, affection and guidance that he needs.

"Both Chris and Mike have equal disposition to provide Robert with the necessities of life.

"It is important to maintain the continuity of Robert's home in the Grand Forks area. Both parents live in Grand Forks at the present time, along with the paternal grandparents and other extended family of both Chris and Mike. Chris' in-laws live in Grand Forks and Virginia Kaloupek is very supportive of Chris and her grandchildren. As a matter of fact, both parents are fit custodians.

* * * * * *

"In order to give Robert the benefit of both parent's contribution to his upbringing, it would be in the best interests of the child to share legal and physical custody between Mike and Chris. The parties shall alternate physical custody every six (6) months until Robert starts school, at which time the Court will redetermine custodial arrangements upon motion of the parties."

Having carefully reviewed the record in this case, we are convinced that the trial court's custody determination is not clearly erroneous. There is substantial evidence to support the trial court's determination that both parents have the ability and desire to care for Robert's needs and that Robert would benefit from both parents sharing in his upbringing.

One important factor underlying the trial court's decision was that Chris did not manifest a desire to foster the father-son relationship between Michael and Robert. Chris requested the court to give her physical custody with very limited visitation for Michael and specifically requested that Michael receive no overnight visitations at least until Robert had completed the first year of school. The trial court concluded that its alternating joint custody award would foster, in Robert's best interests, both Chris and Michael's parent-child relationship with Robert.

Chris asserts that the trial court gave inadequate consideration to factors four and five under Section 14-09-06.2, N.D.C.C.:

"14-09-06.2. Best interests and welfare of child--Court consideration--Factors. For the purpose of custody, the best interests and welfare of the child shall be determined by the court's consideration and evaluation of all factors affecting the best interests and welfare of the child. These factors include all of the following when applicable:

* * * * * *

"4. The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity.

"5. The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home."

We disagree with Chris' contention that the trial court did not adequately address the foregoing custody considerations. The trial court found that both parents have played an important role in Robert's life and that it is important to maintain the continuity of Robert's home in the Grand Forks area where he has both parents as well as extended family. The trial court determined that it could best maintain stability and continuity in Robert's life by allowing each parent to open his and her home to Robert, alternately sharing in the responsibility of providing the day to day care, love, and nurture that physical custody entails. Also, the trial court provided liberal visitation for each parent during that parent's non-custodial time period, thereby encouraging substantial and continual involvement by both parents in Robert's daily life. We are convinced that the trial court's determinations in this regard are not clearly erroneous.

Chris also asserts that the trial court did not give adequate consideration to the testimony of her expert witnesses. We disagree. In its memorandum decision the trial court outlined the testimony of the expert witnesses called by both parties and explained the degree of the court's reliance upon each witness and the reasons therefore. We are satisfied that the trial court gave due consideration to all relevant testimony. The trial court, who is able to listen to and observe the demeanor of the witnesses, is in a much better position than we to discover the true facts, and the appellate court is not entitled to reverse the lower court merely because it might have viewed the facts differently if it had been the initial trier of the case. Lapp, supra, 293 N.W.2d at 129.

The success of any custody resolution must ultimately rest with the parents. If they cannot set aside their differences and conflict when dealing with their roles as parents, the innocent child will most surely suffer. The following admonition by this court to the parents in Lapp, supra, 293 N.W.2d at 131, provides equally appropriate advice for Chris and Michael:

"The courts are unable to compel the development of healthy parent-child relationships. Nor are courts able to supervise the ongoing day-to-day happenings between parent and child. Specific conditions imposed concerning custody arrangements and visitation rights can only be justified and made workable through the combined efforts of the parents. We sincerely hope the parties in the present case recognize the importance of cooperation, and we encourage them to set aside their differences and work to provide a healthful environment for their minor child."

In accordance with this opinion the judgment of the district court is affirmed.

ERICKSTAD, C.J., and VANDE WALLE, JJ., concur.

LEVINE, Justice, dissenting.

Poor Robert! In order to "assure" that his relationship with his father "survive[s]...