Kramer v. Kramer
| Decision Date | 17 July 2015 |
| Docket Number | 202042/2011 |
| Citation | 2015 NY Slip Op 51142 (U) |
| Court | New York Supreme Court |
| Parties | Temmi Kramer, Plaintiff, v. David Kramer, Defendant. |
"The conflict in this family is at a high frequency, at a high intensity and of longstanding duration." This description by Dr. Peter Favaro, the court-appointed forensic, best describes the circumstances of the Kramer family and this long-standing divorce battle, which makes its movie namesake seem like a snowball fight. The defendant, David Kramer ("Husband"), claims that the plaintiff, Temmi Kramer ("Wife"), has turned three of his four children against him with designs on the fourth, the parties' youngest. Wife, in turn, alleges that Husband is a deadbeat dad trying to "starve" her and her family by purposely reducing his income and pleading poverty. Both, in important respects, are correct. Add to this toxic mix the active support and assistance each is getting from their respective fathers, children who now despise their father, and Wife's paranoia, the result is family dysfunction to a degree rarely seen, even by the most experienced matrimonial practitioners and forensic psychologists such as Dr. Favaro.
It is within this framework that this court must determine custody of three of the parties' children, the fourth (KK) being 19 years old.1 JK, who just turned 15 and ZK, who will soon turn 17, have by deeds and words vociferously proclaimed their hatred of their father and their preference to live with their mother—if they had their druthers they would not see their father again. RK, soon to be 11, has also recently expressed hostility toward her father, a new development given her professed affection for both her mother and father throughout nearly this entire action.
This action was commenced in July 2011. A custody trial was held over twelve days beginning on May 19, 2014 and initially ending on December 2, 2014.2 During the course of the trial both Husband and Wife changed counsel, thus causing delays, although the parties and their counsel were regular visitors to the courthouse fighting various battles throughout this action. Eight different law firms have represented Wife during the course of this action. Husband was represented by three firms—one of them at two separate times. The parties lived together in the marital residence until January 2015, when Husband moved out after being ordered to do so by this court. A visitation schedule was put in place and on April 9, 2015, the court heard additional testimony from the parties on the custody issue in light of the parties' separation. The parties submitted post-trial memoranda on May 29, 2015.
The court has reviewed, considered and evaluated the witnesses' testimony, the parties' arguments and the documentary evidence in rendering this decision. The court has relied upon its personal observation of each witness in determining credibility. In reaching its conclusions, the court has carefully observed and listened to the witnesses during their testimony and has evaluated all evidence in light of its relevance, materiality, credibility, importance and weight.
The parties were married in 1992 and for most of their marriage lived at the marital residence located in Lawrence, New York.
Husband, a 1992 New York University graduate, has worked since the time of the marriage as a construction supervisor for two renovation/construction companies formed and controlled by his father. Husband stated at the commencement of this action that he was earning $360,000 plus distributions annually (he earned $435,000 from his employment in 2010, including bonus). His work schedule throughout the marriage generally found Husband leaving the house at 8:30 a.m. and returning home between 3:30 to 5:00 p.m.
At the time of the parties' marriage Wife was not working but completing her master's degree in early childhood education at Bank Street Graduate School of Education (she went on to receive her degree in 1995). Wife is a graduate of Stern College for Women of Yeshiva University (majoring in marketing and advertising) and has an associate's degree from the Fashion Institute of Technology.
Wife worked for the Hebrew Academy of the Five Towns and Rockaway (HAFTR), a private Modern Orthodox Jewish school, as an assistant teacher and then a teacher. She left while pregnant with KK. Wife never returned to full-time teaching duties at HAFTR but mostly stayed home to raise the parties' children. For a period of time, Wife worked part-time as a substitute teacher at HAFTR and, when this action was commenced, Wife was working for New York Fun Factory booking and coordinating parties and events.
The parties are Orthodox Jews and have raised their children to be as well. All of theirchildren have attended HAFTR for their entire primary and secondary education.
Up until the commencement of this action both parents had a good relationship with their children, with Wife being their primary caretaker throughout most of the marriage. Husband was also an active father, coaching his son's hockey teams, helping with homework, getting the kids ready for school and attending doctor visits. The parties had a housekeeper who assisted them by, among other things, getting the children from the bus after school and cooking dinner.
In April 2011, Wife moved out of the marital bedroom and informed Husband she wanted a divorce. Shortly thereafter communication between the parties shifted primarily to emails and texts. That summer the boys went to sleep-away camp. In July 2011 Wife filed this action.
At the time the action was commenced Wife brought a pendente lite application seeking, among other things, temporary sole custody of the children, maintenance, and exclusive occupancy. Wife complained that Husband was not providing her with enough money to run the household. Specifically, Wife alleged in her supporting affidavit that Husband emptied the parties' joint bank accounts, cut off her use of credit cards and reduced his "former support for me and the children."
In her application Wife also sought an order requiring Husband to pay all of the expenses of ZK's upcoming bar mitzvah, scheduled for September 3, 2011. Husband wanted to avoid the expense of a massive party similar to the one previously held for KK (approximately $85,000). Wife alleged that Husband "stole" the invitations to ZK's bar mitzvah so they could not be mailed out:
I pleaded with him to return them and not punish our son's happiness because of our marital problems. I begged him especially not to upset [ZK] before he left for sleep-away summer camp .ZK has been inquiring daily about [their] return .ZK left for camp in tears and called me from the bus questioning if he would have a bar mitzvah at all and expressed his distress with his father's actions.
Wife also asserted that Husband was attempting to wiretap Wife's conversations, had cameras installed in the home and hired agents to conduct surveillance. She asserted that RK, not yet 7 years old, was "petrified of the agents that come and photograph the home and do surveillance."
At trial, Wife denied that she told ZK that Husband had taken the invitations and wouldn't give them back; she claims he observed that they were missing and she told ZK that Husband had them but she hoped to work things out.
Husband filed a cross-motion to Wife's pendente lite application seeking, among other things, temporary custody of the children and asserting that Wife is "unstable and suffers from one or more undiagnosed mental illnesses." (And away we go .)
In response, Wife foreshadowed the parental alienation to come:
While the initial Order to Show Cause was still pending, Wife brought a second application in August 2011 for support and an order requiring Husband to pay the bar mitzvah bills for ZK.
The parties entered into a stipulation on August 26, 2011 whereby Husband agreed to advance $30,000 for various expenses associated with ZK's bar mitzvah and the party.
In August 2011, at the parties' request, John Zenir, Esq. was appointed as Attorney for the Children. A separate attorney for the boys was appointed in December 2013 upon Wife's application and on consent of Mr. Zenir after it became clear that the boys no longer wanted Mr. Zenir to represent them.
On February 23, 2012, a pendente lite decision was issued and, on Husband's consent, he was ordered to pay various household expenses including the carrying charges on the marital residence, private school tuition, summer camp, extra-curricular activities, an account for kosher groceries, and the children's clothing. The annual estimated cost of all of the expenses was $265,743. In addition, Husband was ordered to pay to Wife $2,000 each month as temporary maintenance and $10,000 towards Wife's counsel fees.
When the boys returned home in 2011 from sleep-away camp, where they learned that their parents were divorcing, their attitudes toward their father began to change for the worse. The Kramer family entered into a long, dark, downward spiral that accelerated throughout 2011 and 2012. The Kramers have not recovered. A roughly chronological summary of pertinent events follows.
In September 2011, Dr. Peter Favaro was appointed as the forensic in this matter. The parties were ordered to fully cooperate with Dr. Favaro. Dr. Favaro initially reported that his evaluation proceeded slowly mainly due to Wife's failure to appear for sessions due to her claimed unavailability.
Although it became clear that the boys were in need of therapy as a result of the high-conflict divorce, the parties could not agree on a therapist for them. Wife hoped to avoid such therapy. The parties finally agreed in late November to let Dr. Favaro select a therapist so...
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